Quotes that inspire me

  • "Pain is a very precious gift. Do not waste it." by Martha Singleterry

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Today was better!!

Today was a good day!!! I got my slim in 6 today! I did the first video and my legs are burning plus I did my wii fit also! Other than that is was another day! But here is what I accomplished today.
I drank all my water! My protein was 24% and I was shooting for 25%. My fat wasn't good at all, it was 35% and I was shooting for 20%. Carbs were 41%. I took 6901 steps which is GREAT!!! I still have to burn 140 calories, which is possible and I can still eat 177 calories. So much better than yesterday, thank goodness!!! I needed that. So here are my goals for tomorrow!!
1. Drink all my water!!
2. Keep my protein at 25%
3. Fat down to 20%
4. Steps 1401 - 7901
5. Stay with in my BB goals!

I am going to bed, I have a bit of the girl's cold and I need to rest! Goodnight!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly!!

Well I think I should start out with the good I did today....since there is not much of it!!! I have finish all my water for the last three day, which is huge for me!! I am even sick and when I am sick the last thing I want is water!! I ate really good today....until tonight but I will get to that in the ugly! Last night I went to Walmart and got some protein bars and drinks. I really want to up my protein.
I am borderline diabetic, I have hyper-insulinsim. I have had problem since I was little. It runs in the family. I remember when I was maybe in the forth grade. I was eating lunch and all of a sudden I didn't feel good. I went to the office and right as I opened my mouth, I passed out. I hit my head really hard, the school had like a tile or something like that for a floor. I remember the next year when I came back from summer break they had carpeted it. I still laugh about it!
Also when I was pregnant, with all three I had gestational diabetes. With the first two I had to take insulin and that is not fun. When you have gestational diabetes there are alot of things that can happen to you and the baby. Example a big baby, Sophie was 10lbs. I guess that could be part of my weight problem!!
Anyways, so I want to up my protien, I did pretty good today...well better that yesterday!! So my goal for protein is 20-30% of my food intake, which I did today. My protein was 20%. I would still like to up that! So that was my good!

The Bad, well I went over on my calorie intake by 117. I could have done worse and HAVE done worse but...my goal is to lose weight!! I wasn't very active today, I have a cold coming on and the little girls were sick. Excuses, Excuses I know!! I still need to burn 766 calories to meet my goal...that is not going to happen! My carb intake was higher than I want, it was 49%. My fat, oh my fat..I guess you are what you eat!! I thought I was doing so good, my fat was 29%. I want that to go down by a lot!!! Now for my steps, which is borderline ugly! I only took 3347 steps. I CAN DO BETTER!!!!!!

Now for the UGLY!! So I did really good eating all day until tonight! I made a tater-tot casserole which sounds gross but hmmm it is really good. I didn't eat as much as i usually do but I ate more than my share!!!! It makes me really mad that I can't control myself! I know I want to lose this weight but why can't I control myself. What makes me even more mad is how many times am I going to keep doing this to myself. I am sure this is not going to be the last night I eat too much! How do I take control?!?!? For my other Ugly, why can't I get off my ass and walk around the house or move more. I keep telling myself, get up and walk, get up and walk, JUST GET UP AND WALK. Why can't I do it? I am so tired, so very tired and I know I will feel better if I just start doing things. I just can't get up. I mean my house needs some TLC and the kids get just as board as I do. I am not sure if it is depression, I guess it must be but if I just get up I will feel better, darn it!!!

Photobucket This is so true!!!!



So I am done being hard on myself!!! Here are my goals for tomorrow
1. Drink all my water
2. up my protein to 25%
3. fat down to 20%
4. 3847-4000 steps!
5. Stay within my goals on my BB (bodybugg)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Well today is starting out ok. The little girls are sick so I am betting I have more than one coke today!!!


Photobucket

Today and yesterday I was able to drink ALL my water, which is huge. I didn't do very good eating today.. Ah h the stress of having sick babies!! I think I was more taking advantage of them being sick so I could eat!! I went to the store and got some good proteins for tomorrow! I am really looking forward to the diet tomorrow. I didn't move very much today, need to work on that!!
Short goals for tomorrow drinking my water, 5000 steps, and I really need to finish doing my hair and maybe put on real clothes (not sweats) Also I really want to eat my protein goal. My slim in 6 should be here just in time for me to catch the girls colds. Nah I am feeling really healthy and good right now and I plan to keep it that way!!!!


BTW I had 2 cokes! Not bad (but that is because I was out!) ;-)

Monday, January 25, 2010

It's time

It is time to talk about my loves, my horrible addicting loves!! My first love is Coke!!! I can't start my day without it. My addiction to coke has gotten better. Coke would be the only thing I would drink all day long. I was drinking so much coke that it has done some major damage to my stomach. My poor tummy is always inflamed but I just can not stop drinking it. My coke addiction is addiction! If my day is going bad or I am stress out I want a coke, kinda like alcoholics what alcohol, or even people that smoke want a cigarette. It calms me down (so I think). It makes me get throw my day....CRAZY I know!!!! I have got my addiction to just one a day and I drink it in the morning to get my day going!
My next love is mexican food! It might be more of cheese addiction but anything mexican. I love the flavors and texture, the colors! Now mexican can be healthy also, if you do it right but when you put a pound of cheese on everything....you have a problem!!!!
Now my third and most recent love is havarti cheese. I can eat pounds of it in a day! Not joking!!! I tend to do my food shopping on a saturday and I buy food to make it thought the week! With the cheese I buy a pound and half. The half is so I can eat it in the car on the way home and the pound is for these amazing sandwiches which are herb and sun dried tomato turkey on a bagel (and the bagel is full of cheese and butter hmmmmm) and then two, count them two slices of cheese! Now the sandwich alone I love! Which is not a bad thing, I would rather eat that than fast food and that is good!!! Now back to the cheese, so the pound which needs to last the hole week is gone by the end of the day or the next. The hole pound!!! Gross!! I just can't stop eating it! So with the coke and cheese which my tummy has a really hard time with alone. If I eat dairy I am in the bathroom shortly there after! I guess that everyone has issues with food and I am sure I have more than these, but these are the big ones! I have to work on them and that is going to be hard....really hard, but it can be done! I mean really they are making me sick, really sick. Who wants to spend the hole time in the bathroom and there tummy hurts all the time, but sadly they are very hard to give up but I am working on it!!!!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

how many more times.....

How many more times am I going to say I will start again tomorrow. Today I went to my in-laws to watch the football game. I guess I should start this how my day started. I woke up early and was having a great day. I got my computer and got on Facebook to catch up on all the stupid games I play. Then I got up out of bed about 8am or so. As soon as I got up, the phone rang....It was my mom and she was crying. My Aunt is in the hospital and they didn't think she was going to make it thought the day. So we panic and start to figure out how we are going to get there and how my grandparents were getting out there (they are in AZ). Then we find out that my grandmother is sick as well and can't fly out and will not go to the doctor!
What a way to start a day! Needless to say I was feeling down and panic, I stopped focusing on my diet and just stopped thinking!!! After everyone calmed down I was still shut off. Then about 11am Brit's dad called and wanted us to come in so we got ready and drove in. Now sometimes they have great food and sometimes it is different (to me) but today it was in between so I ate and drank a few beers, I guess really I have done worse. I guess why I feel so yucky is everything was full of garlic and lots of garlic. It doesn't really matter I didn't eat how I wanted, and I always think I am starting tomorrow but really when it is alway tomorrow when am I going to start??? Here it is January 24 and I am still at step one, saying it will began tomorrow! Right now I feel like crap, I feel like my blood sugar is up and I really need to drink more water....Why is it so hard to drink water?? I love how it taste, why can't I drink it. I would feel so much better if I would drink water!! I think my emotions are on over load and I just need to go to bed and start again tomorrow, but this will be the last time you will here that from me!! Tonight is the last time I say those words!!
My short goal for tomorrow, drink all my water and get at least 6000 steps in!!!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

10,000 steps.....NOT!

It is amazing how hard it is to get 10,000 steps in a day!! Today I walked and walked and walked it seamed and I was sure that I did it. Nope not today! I didn't even get half way. I even pushed myself, I went to the store and instead of just leaving the cart I took it to the farthest cart thing there was. I cleaned the whole house. Man I thought for sure I got it! I am bummed and so tired! I really worked hard today! I got an email today saying that my slim in six is on it's way. It will be good when that comes. As I was just writing that I thought I hope I even get it out of the box.LOL I am glad today is over and I am excited to start over again tomorrow. Tomorrow I will stay on track and have a great day!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What the heck happened?!?!?

So last night I was laying in bed trying really hard to go to sleep. My mind was just going a hundred miles a minute. One thought that crossed my mind is wow I have alway thought I was fat and how I would love to go back to the day were I just thought I was fat and not really fat! I might have been untoned but not fat! I am a tall girl about 5'10" and kinda big boned but I can also be very skinny. My senor year in high school I ware a size 6 if not smaller...what happened?!?!?!!!


This a picture of me when I thought I was fat!






I am always been a people person, I love being in the middle of everything!!! I was a cheerleader, loved to party, I lettered in everything you could get a letter in. My junior year I fell head over heals with this guy and totally forgot who I was and what I wanted for myself! I was always trying to please him and changed to do that.
It is funny now because the person I was is the person he wanted to be with the hole time, if I wouldn't have changed who knows were I would be! We dated for a year and then his parents were getting divorced and that was soo hard on him. My parents are still together so he figured that I had no idea how to relate to him.
He broke my heart, and I mean truly broke my heart! I couldn't go to school, I didn't want to face people, just people, he didn't even go to the same school. I just cried like I have never cried before. It would have easier if he would have died. The pain would be less, at least I know then that he still loved me! Just like that I became upsets'.
I laid in bed for 2 weeks, and then something in side of me clicked. I would become the perfect girl and become what he wanted. I lost 30 lbs in 3 weeks and worked out like a mad women. I quite cheerleading, something I loved with all my heart. So I could get him back. I was wearing a size 6 rocky mountin jeans, and that is small! I looked great!!




This is me at my senior prom, after I had lost the 30lbs.









Then I worked like heck to get him back! He moved to Missouri after graduation and I would drive all the way out there about every weekend to see him, BTW at that time he was telling another girl he loved her. Finally after fighting like heck to get him back, I DID!!! We were back together, but it was never the same as the first time. I didn't trust him and I had a huge wall up! We dated for 3 or 4 years total and then it was over! He turned 21 and it was a sunday and he just wanted to go home ( we were living together) and watch I believe the Practice.To me, who at one time was the life of the party, thought it was really sad that when a person finally turns 21, would rather go home a watch a old persons show. After that it was just kinda done, never to talk to one another again! So.... back to me getting fat!
So from us getting back together and then breaking up again, I had put most of that 30 lbs back on but as you can see in the first picture I was never really fat like I thought! This was all in Oct. but in April I was turning 21, I lost about 20 lbs before my birthday and when my birthday hit....GAME ON!!!
I lived at the bar, I would be there everyday it was open. I drank and drank and danced and danced. Life was fun, I was becoming myself again. So the weight was slowly coming back on, not fast I mean I was dancing like I had never danced before, well dancing more than I was drinking! That went on for a 1 year or so...
Then it turned from dancing all the time to drinking way more that dancing! I was starting put on the weight, I was climbing the scales and about then was hitting about 180 or so. All my friends had boyfriends and weren't going to the bar . I started to get lonely and maybe depressed.
About then I re found my wonderful husband, and we started drinking a lot and having a good time! Three months into us dating again I got pregnant. So I remember getting on the scale when I found out I was pregnant and I hit 200 lbs. After that, the stuff hit the fan. What the heck was I doing, I really don't know this person and now I am having a baby????? CRAP!!!!! I got depressed, and I mean depressed.!! I thought I could eat anything I wanted, right, I mean I was having a baby. Did not realize that you only need 300 extra calories. I was eating probley like 4000 calories a day. I was depressed!!! I quite working and just laid around the house. Holy Crap did the weight come on!!!!!!!
After the baby, I got postpartum and at my highest weight I was about 280 or more! Depression is a hard thing and a hard thing to get over. Once you start retuning to your self, you have to face all the stuff your life has turned into! Which I am still doing!!! Not until after my 2nd baby did I start getting back to my self! Oh baby #2, was a pain in the butt, she was so sick and didn't like to sleep! So the depressing was coming back and then guess what...here comes baby 3. So now I am a stay at home mom with three babies. I am lucky with Baby #3, I felt great! After baby #3 I really did start feeling better and I want to take a shower. Sadly, I didn't have enough "want" to do my hair or put on make-up. I wore sweets all the time. Still getting out of bed was a huge effort! Darn Depression!!!!! So now #3 is going to be 2, and I am feeling really good. I have been wearing clothes and even putting on my make-up, and I am really liking my hair right now! Right now I am weighting in at 230 lbs. Which is only 30 lbs from having the baby weight gone!!! So that is how and where I am right now in my weight loss.




So this is me now, this was taken around Halloween 2009


















This is me at the end of the summer 2009...I hate taking pictures so I don't have to many of them!

Monday, January 18, 2010

1st real day

Today was good, I ate good until dinner, I need to work on my portions at least for dinner. Durning the day I have been doing really good! I didn't really feel like being very active today but I took a shower and thought you know I need to go for a walk. So I got the girls ready and drove to town. I let the girls play at the park, I didn't realize how cold it was today but we played. Most of the time before I would have said you know it is too cold to go for a walk but instead I said we are doing this, and it felt good!! When we got home I was feeling really week so I made lunch for the girls and made my shake and then I laid on the bed the rest of the day. I keep saying you just need to get up and do something, just get up, just get up, just get up. I never got up. I need to work on that!!! I also need to drink WAY more water!!! So here is how I did on my goals.
I burned 2416 cals, Cals I consumed 1976, in the cals I consumed I ate 17% protein, which my goal is 20-30%, carbs 61% and fat was 22%. I took 4911 steps today and I want to take at least 500 more steps tomorrow. I was active for 1hr and mins. So tomorrow is a new day and I will do better than today. It will only get easier!!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

ready, set, go.....

So I decided to except the Body for life women's challenge. This is a mental and physical challenge, which is something I really need to work on. So this is my starting point.....
Weight - 230.0
Body fat - 39.6
Neck - 15"
Chest - 44"
upper arm - 14
forearm - 13
Waist - 45
Hips - 45
Thigh - 25
Calf - 18

These are my starting goals...
1. I want 20-30% of my calories to come from protein
2. My average steps are about 3000 a day, right now, I want to add 500 to 1000 more steps a day until I get to 10,000
3. I want to eat the smart for at least 80% of the time, I am human and will make mistakes and that is ok
4. I want to eat 5 servings of smart protein, 4 servings of smart carbs, and 1/2 a serving of smart fat
5. Eat every 2 to 4 hours
6. drink lots of water.... the thing I have the hardest with!!!

So those are my goals for right now, so far I have had a really hard day to day but so is life I can and will do this!!!! I am getting the house and my mind ready for this challenge right now. So I an not waisting anymore time on this computer and get my shit together!!!